Marian Liddell

Actress/Model/Director
Instagram

Photographs by Rudy Astudillo

The intensity of watching my own work and seeing the story in knots before my eyes; what am I trying to say about myself, about sexuality, trauma, memory, the fantasies about life one creates in their mind? I am still discovering that, and I want to live my questions. I am reminded of a quietly strong willed 16-year-old girl who claimed her own power by picking up a Super 8 camera for the first time. I remember the girl who borrowed that flowing pink 1950’s dress from the neighborhood theater to wear in her first short film, starring herself, her father in drag applying lipstick, an her mother with an orange latex glove grabbing her own neck through a sweater. I remember the girl who at 17 embarked on making a movie on three kinds of film, telling the story of being haunted by a nostalgia for something that never existed in the place, and rediscovering her will to live. I remember that I love this girl. And I want her to live.

The intensity of watching my own work and seeing the story in knots before my eyes; what am I trying to say about myself, about sexuality, trauma, memory, the fantasies about life one creates in their mind? I am still discovering that, and I want to live my questions. I am reminded of a quietly strong willed 16-year-old girl who claimed her own power by picking up a Super 8 camera for the first time. I remember the girl who borrowed that flowing pink 1950’s dress from the neighborhood theater to wear in her first short film, starring herself, her father in drag applying lipstick, an her mother with an orange latex glove grabbing her own neck through a sweater. I remember the girl who at 17 embarked on making a movie on three kinds of film, telling the story of being haunted by a nostalgia for something that never existed in the place, and rediscovering her will to live. I remember that I love this girl. And I want her to live.

I had stepped into some long-forgot, enchanted, strange, sweet garden of a thousand years ago and suddenly thought, “I have been here before!”

Photographs by Edric Chen

 ”For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face”

 ”For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face”

“Longing”
A character portrait taken by Rudy Astudillo during rehearsal for the upcoming short.

Longing

A character portrait taken by Rudy Astudillo during rehearsal for the upcoming short.

Labyrinth of Jareth 2013, modeling a headpiece by the brilliantly talented Sylva Hattington of Bubbles and Frown. 

SH Photography
Gown: S&G
Hair/MUA: Lindsay Byrd

SH Photography

Gown: S&G

Hair/MUA: Lindsay Byrd

SH Photography
Gown: S&G
Hair/MUA: Lindsay Byrd

SH Photography

Gown: S&G

Hair/MUA: Lindsay Byrd

Stills and behind the scenes shots from a short film I’m directing and acting in, loosely inspired by Ingmar Bergman’s Through a Glass Darkly.

Director of Photography: Rodelio Astudillo, Hair/Make-up: Sabrina Rucker.

A one-minute short I created with a mixture of Super 8 film and my Iphone camera.