The intensity of watching my own work and seeing the story in knots before my eyes; what am I trying to say about myself, about sexuality, trauma, memory, the fantasies about life one creates in their mind? I am still discovering that, and I want to live my questions. I am reminded of a quietly strong willed 16-year-old girl who claimed her own power by picking up a Super 8 camera for the first time. I remember the girl who borrowed that flowing pink 1950’s dress from the neighborhood theater to wear in her first short film, starring herself, her father in drag applying lipstick, an her mother with an orange latex glove grabbing her own neck through a sweater. I remember the girl who at 17 embarked on making a movie on three kinds of film, telling the story of being haunted by a nostalgia for something that never existed in the place, and rediscovering her will to live. I remember that I love this girl. And I want her to live.
A one-minute short I created with a mixture of Super 8 film and my Iphone camera.